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Writer's pictureTina Carter

Help

Updated: Aug 11, 2023


When you enter cancerworld, things change. Even if you consider your cancerworld experience "easy" or your travel short, things change. At a minimum there will be appointments added to your schedule. You will spend time thinking or planning how to get through cancerworld. That means that your life will become busier. If you are already living a quick paced, schedule packed life it might seem like things are becoming impossible. And here my favorite piece of advice comes into play...


If someone offers to do your laundry, let them.


There are some organizations that offer practical help for cancer patients (like www.clearningforareason.org). There are some organizations that can help with other things (you can look at www.cancercarenews.com for other examples). In addition it is likely that you have friends and family that will offer to help. I'm not talking about the ambiguous offers like, "if I can do anything please call." Those offers are not very helpful because, truth be told, we often don't know what we need when we are traveling cancerworld. I am talking about help that comes in the form of specific offers... things like...


Can I bring you dinner? Can I drive you to your appointment? Would it be helpful if I picked the kids up?


Those specific offers come from folks that have told you they are willing to help and they have given you specifics of what they can do. It is okay to say, "yes" to those offers. Of course it is also okay to say, "no" if you think that specific thing would not be helpful. The point of this post is really to let you know that traveling through cancerworld requires us to gain a new skill (or help us get better) of accepting help. If you are the strong, independent type this is the time when you will learn of the critical nature of interdependence. The concept that we do better and we are better when we both help and receive help. Being able to receive is a skill that is critical to surviving in cancerworld.


Most cancer treatment facilities have a social worker on staff. We can talk to them about the resources that might be available. So, even if you are really alone, without family or friends to help you through, there are resources around to connect you to help.


This might also be true for non-cancerworld residents.


NOTES TO FRIENDS AND CAREGIVERS: As noted above, when traveling through cancerworld, we may not know what we need. Offering specific help can be a life-saver for friends that are traveling through cancerworld. You may want to consider developing a list of specific things you would be willing to offer to friends and family traveling through cancerworld.





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