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Writer's pictureTina Carter

Adjusting

Updated: Sep 19, 2023




When we get diagnosed with cancer everything kind of gets turned upside down. Instantly, within the span of a sentence, what came to us as 'normal' yesterday will not be our new normal.


For some of us we just kind of ignore the fact that we have been relocated to cancerworld and we carry on as if we are still traveling through our "regular life." That is one valid way to cope with the situation.


CAREGIVER TIP: If you are a caregiver and your cancerworld resident is using this coping skill, please do not encourage them to "accept reality" or "face what is happening." This way of coping is valid and the cancerworld resident can use this coping mechanism as long as it works for them. If their approach to handling their cancerworld journey is stressing you out it might be a good idea for you to find someone (not the cancerworld resident) with whom you can vent.


For some of us we look around and have to work through the shock of being instantly transported to this new land.


Neither of those reactions (or the myriad of actions in between) are wrong.


We all adjust in different ways and on different timelines. The trick may be to be gentle with ourselves as we adjust to our new landscape. Whether we look around cancerworld and say, "mostly the same as regular world I am just going to carry on as if I was in regular world," or "well THIS is a different landscape!" it is reasonable for us to have to adjust to this new world.


Some of us are going to figure out how to be able to do "regular life" as we do our treatments. And some of us are going to have to adjust to not being able to manage "regular life" because our cancerworld residency will require near full time attention.

Some of us are going to have to adjust to people who we counted as friends disappearing from our circle. Some of us may get annoyed that people are invading our space trying to be "helpful."


Adjusting is normal. It is a standard step in being thrown into cancerworld. If we resist adjusting instead of addressing it we can make ourselves miserable. To make things easier you can make a list of all the things you have already adjusted to, give yourself as much credit as possible.


And to be clear, if you are the "I'm just going to mostly ignore this and do what I need to do to get through" type that may also carry some adjustments along with it. There will, for instance, be conversations that you don't want to have. And that may be an adjustment for you and your family/friends/caregivers. Making room for adjustments will make the transition to cancerworld easier.


This may also be true for non-cancer world residents.

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