One day I was sitting in the cancerworld waiting room with other travelers. It was crowded. A nurse came into the room and in a loud voice call “Mr. Traveler” who raised his hand dutifully, letting her know he was there. She then looked at him and said, “do you want to come with me?” He looked her straight in the eye and very loudly and decisively said, “no.” The whole room cracked up. NONE of us really WANTED to “come with her.” She was the one leading us to the treatment room. Following her was like following someone into a place known to contain vomiting and stress.
That day Mr. Traveler reminded us all that we do not have to be “resilient” all the time (or really, any of the time).
Some days managing our journey and present a pleasant or agreeable face are not simultaneously possible. That doesn’t mean we are failing. The feeling will likely pass and we will continue to travel. And we can make room for that.
In fact some studies (as noted in Forbes, Scientific American, and Wikipedia among other sources) note that using “traditional” swear words can actually help relieve pain. (Or help us tolerate pain better?) Granted swearing does not make us seem very “resilient,” nor does talking back to our health care providers. However, our journey through cancerworld does afford us the ability to begin to care less about how we “appear” in favor of just being able to put one foot in front of the other.
This might be true for life outside cancerworld too.
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